These things typically do NOT go hand in hand.
As a mother of four little ladies, I can speak to long days but short years full of diaper changes, crayon wrapper bits on the floor as far as the eye can see, perpetual schlepping to and then fro and then to once more, meal after meal after meal, teachable moments, sister spats, toothpaste blobs flung around like confetti, and the list goes on. Don’t get me wrong; there are so many GOOD moments, so many priceless burn-in-into-my-brain-so-I’ll-never-forget-it moments, so many times that I find myself stopping to wonder what I did to deserve this life.
Yeah. That’s something one doesn’t see much of in the midst of motherhood between crusty old sippy cups of long-forgotten milk and desperately searching the house for the CORRECT fuzzy sock to match before toddler tears ensue.
Perhaps it’s just the Oppositional Defiant Disorder speaking (😉), but I refuse to believe that after birthing babies, there shall nevermore be pockets of rest for the weary mom holding her day together with under-eye concealer and a prayer. Surely there’s a way to track down, sniff out and capture this elusive “rest” we once so casually dismissed as “being bored.” THERE MUST BE A WAY, I SAY!
Here’s what I’m kinda thinking: in order to cultivate rest, we’ve gotta have the margin in our lives to do so. In order to revel in the sheer joy of sitting down for more than 3.7 seconds and perhaps (GASP!) allow our minds to slow the constant swirl that IS the essence of motherhood, we are going to need to DO EVEN MORE…at least on the front end. Stay with me here….
What I need as a working mom of four little ones is margin. Boundaries. A plan. I need to play offense rather than constant defense fueled by coffee and dry shampoo. I’ve been really sucking this up lately, so for the month of January, I’m consciously focusing on making choices that allow me some margin in which to REST with my people (and sometimes without….holler for kid-less quiet moments in which to recharge!) I’m going to try to think ahead a bit more, plan for date nights with my husband to reconnect, set up even more boundaries with my Instagram/blogging biz in order to lift up my eyes from the screen to see my people…to see me….to see that I need a minute. This month, I’m giving a lot more “no” answers than usual, but you know what? Those no’s mean I’ve said YES to this very real need for rest and empty calendar spaces and a chance to recharge my creative battery a bit.
Found myself complaining about being too busy…but guess what? There’s a difference between the busy stuff we HAVE to do that comes as part of being human and alive and the mother to offspring and the wife to a husband, etc. But…there also exists a sort of busy that is irresponsible on my part, that is just there to distract me from the doldrums of daily life. A busy that happens when I don’t use discernment with my yes answers, when I look at a screen instead of looking at my actual life and what might need to be adjusted. We can’t help some of the swirl, Lord knows. But some of it we can. I can. And…I want to make a conscious choice to reclaim some margin in my life.
Lest you think I have this down pat, I’ll have you know that I wrote this blog post on one of the swirliest, nuttiest days I’ve experienced in a good long while (there was poop and car trouble involved, but I’ll spare you the details. 😳) But, dadgumit, I’m sure gonna TRY to keep this idea of purposefully creating margin in which to rest at the forefront as I walk into 2019. Heaven knows my scrambled egg mom-brain COULD USE SOME, GEEZ. 😉 Anyone else feel me?